Lately, I've begun a habit of stilling myself, usually outside on my porch and simply saying "God, I'm listening." I quiet my mind by meditating on nature and simply listen for anything God wants to say.
Yesterday, as I sat in a church prayer garden, I did the same. I noticed a wasp buzzing among the brush behind. I thought to myself, "Lord, is it looking for a place of rest, or is it simply buzzing around to busy itself." Only moments later it struck me as a profound statement.
I wonder how many times in this season of rest, physically and spiritually, that I have simply striven to find something to distract me. I wonder how many times I have looked for something to fill my life merely to busy myself. God calls us to rest and that requires physical and spiritual changes in our lives to make it necessary.
I resolved, as I felt so by the Lord, to simply read the Word. I felt God was saying I needed a fresh intake of His Word. I agreed to read the Word, and without coming to Him with any desire to take away. In other words, I was not to read with the plan in mind of writing on my blog or sharing some deep insight. I was simply to read and enjoy getting to know Him.
In this season of my life, I desire to know Him as husband and friend. The more I listen and seek true rest, I realize it is petty to seek someone else to fill the void in my life. Christ is all I need. I may know that in my mind, but my heart strives against it. In return, I am his wife and friend. Imagine that, being married to the king and friends with God.
I seek such a place of rest, where I never doubt provision or help with my hurts, habits and hang-ups. I seek His yoke upon me so that it will be light and easy to bear.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Be Flexible
As I sat on my porch in silence waiting upon the Lord, there was a strong wind. I pondered the trees and how they swayed in the wind. The branches flowed freely with the winds, no matter how strong, and did not break. If they had remained stiff, they would have snapped off. Our life, I thought is like that tree, who must be willing to move with the wind. We must allow our leaves to receive the wind, because wind stimulates the leaves on a tree and results in a stronger trunk. Our trunk must be strong and firmly rooted. Our roots are Christ.
This scripture came to mind, The wind blows wherever it wishes; you hear the sound it makes, but you do not know where it comes from or where it is going. It is like that with everyone who is born of the Spirit." (John 3:8)
While the contextual meaning illuminates Christ's teaching on being born again, this carries a personal meaning to me as well. While the Spirit does not leave me without hearing, I am often walking without seeing. I feel the Spirit always gives me warning of changes in life, but He does not always give me the direction from which it will come or to where it will take me.
Life truly must be one day at a time, and daily interaction and listening to my Heavenly Father through the Spirit is essential. There are many distractions in this world, and many opportunities to distract me from His ultimate will.
In the Christian twelve-step program, Celebrate Recovery, reminds me, I must not only commit my life and will to Him, I must also reserve daily time with Him to know His will for my life.
This scripture came to mind, The wind blows wherever it wishes; you hear the sound it makes, but you do not know where it comes from or where it is going. It is like that with everyone who is born of the Spirit." (John 3:8)
While the contextual meaning illuminates Christ's teaching on being born again, this carries a personal meaning to me as well. While the Spirit does not leave me without hearing, I am often walking without seeing. I feel the Spirit always gives me warning of changes in life, but He does not always give me the direction from which it will come or to where it will take me.
Life truly must be one day at a time, and daily interaction and listening to my Heavenly Father through the Spirit is essential. There are many distractions in this world, and many opportunities to distract me from His ultimate will.
In the Christian twelve-step program, Celebrate Recovery, reminds me, I must not only commit my life and will to Him, I must also reserve daily time with Him to know His will for my life.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Qualifying Leaders
Today, I realized that many who counsel or lead in other professions have qualified themselves by their schooling and success, rather than their life experience. Scripture says that God qualifies the minister, not man. I am a minister because in my experiences I can offer far better care than that of a counselor who has never seen the depths that I have.
I speak of this today because of a comment made to me about taking a job. The comment was given as though any job is better than no job, and that this job must be God's provision. But, in the case of someone who needs support, a job that takes one away from that support is no job at all. It is a distraction of the enemy. I resent that statement and now find I must ponder more closely forgiveness.
The world's definition of a qualified minister fails us more often than not. Will the world ever change to recognize the truly qualified, or must we always have degrees and badges with prerequisites of perfection?
I am a minister. I minister through service. I minister to those in my path. I especially find 12 step groups a place of mutual ministry where no badge is required and the care given far exceeds that of a degreed counselor.
Amen.
I speak of this today because of a comment made to me about taking a job. The comment was given as though any job is better than no job, and that this job must be God's provision. But, in the case of someone who needs support, a job that takes one away from that support is no job at all. It is a distraction of the enemy. I resent that statement and now find I must ponder more closely forgiveness.
The world's definition of a qualified minister fails us more often than not. Will the world ever change to recognize the truly qualified, or must we always have degrees and badges with prerequisites of perfection?
I am a minister. I minister through service. I minister to those in my path. I especially find 12 step groups a place of mutual ministry where no badge is required and the care given far exceeds that of a degreed counselor.
Amen.
Usefulness vs Leadership
The following quotes hit home today with how I have approached my faith lately. I have a physical illness I must manage. Because of this illness, I find my dreams waning as I can no longer look towards that great corporate career or ministerial position.
I've taken to finding the smallest ways to serve, and doing them with great passion and gratitude. In this, I resolve God's character will flow into and through me moreso than my talents and skills flowing out for others. Make sense?
So, I share these quotations with that in mind. My goal is to serve. My mindset is one towards inner change that will enable me to lead by serving rather than lead by leading.
"The world cannot always understand one's profession of faith, but it can understand service." -- Ian Maclaren
"It is not the possession of extraordinary gifts that makes extraordinary usefulness, but the dedication of what we have to the service of God." -- Frederick William Robertson
"The Lord doesn't ask about your ability, only your availability; and, if you prove your dependability, the Lord will increase your capability." -- Author Unknown
This blog is my outpouring of a heart that loves to write and ponder scripture, as well as life. However, my life is not about writing. My life is about getting my hands dirty and finding every opportunity to serve.
I've taken to finding the smallest ways to serve, and doing them with great passion and gratitude. In this, I resolve God's character will flow into and through me moreso than my talents and skills flowing out for others. Make sense?
So, I share these quotations with that in mind. My goal is to serve. My mindset is one towards inner change that will enable me to lead by serving rather than lead by leading.
"The world cannot always understand one's profession of faith, but it can understand service." -- Ian Maclaren
"It is not the possession of extraordinary gifts that makes extraordinary usefulness, but the dedication of what we have to the service of God." -- Frederick William Robertson
"The Lord doesn't ask about your ability, only your availability; and, if you prove your dependability, the Lord will increase your capability." -- Author Unknown
This blog is my outpouring of a heart that loves to write and ponder scripture, as well as life. However, my life is not about writing. My life is about getting my hands dirty and finding every opportunity to serve.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Meeting Jesus
I often wonder what it would be like to meet Jesus in person, in the flesh, as teacher and rabbi. I wrote this poem, and though not my typical posting, wanted to share it.
JESUS
Majestic he stands
with dignity he speaks
Eyes watch as he moves
Bodies respond at his command
Like the rhythm of water
rushing against rocks
His words stroke my mind
leaving their indelible marks
Humble he walks
Strong he talks
Talent he draws
from his students' hearts
Inspired by his grace
Driven by his praise
my mind yields to give my best
without fear of its test
Intuitively he reacts
Distinctly he moves
Shaking the room
with his presence
JESUS
Majestic he stands
with dignity he speaks
Eyes watch as he moves
Bodies respond at his command
Like the rhythm of water
rushing against rocks
His words stroke my mind
leaving their indelible marks
Humble he walks
Strong he talks
Talent he draws
from his students' hearts
Inspired by his grace
Driven by his praise
my mind yields to give my best
without fear of its test
Intuitively he reacts
Distinctly he moves
Shaking the room
with his presence
Friday, April 3, 2009
Free From Bitterness
I have been pondering the concept of bitterness, and not only God's definition of it, but His remedy. I surmise that bitterness is in itself a deep level of distress or anguish over something that in essence distorts the way one sees and reacts to things.
Take a look at this scripture. Depending on whether you've experienced bitterness or not, it may be hard to come to agreement with those who have, on how to interpret this event in the life of Hannah.
This went on year after year; whenever they went to the house of the LORD, Peninnah would upset Hannah so much that she would cry and refuse to eat anything. Her husband Elkanah would ask her, "Hannah, why are you crying? Why won't you eat? Why are you always so sad? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" One time, after they had finished their meal in the house of the LORD at Shiloh, Hannah got up. She was deeply distressed, and she cried bitterly as she prayed to the LORD. Meanwhile, Eli the priest was sitting in his place by the door.
(1 Samuel 1:7-9)
I bolded two phrases in this verse. In the verses prior, it speaks to how Hannah received a double portion from Elkanah despite her barren womb. In the verses following, we see Elkanah treating Hannah with the same graciousness. But, here in the midst, I believe we see the effects of bitterness upon Hannah's soul. On one side, the way she responded may seem childish. On the other hand, the way she responded seems understandable.
Speaking towards the understandable, I can relate to Hannah's response. And, I take a leap in saying how she felt at this moment in time. For a long time, Hannah has been sad. And, such statements as the second one bolded would be so horribly cruel and selfish. Or so it would seem to the embittered soul. I've always thought this statement of Elkanah was selfish. Certainly, it is a bitter shallow but it is not cruel or meant to cause greater grief.
I applaud Hannah for her response. She prayed wholeheartedly to the Lord. And, I think she prayed knowing that she had become bitter. I believe it is her confession to her Lord that opened the door for Him to open her womb. Bitterness first crushes you, then when you find yourself it's victim knowingly, it humbles you. Being both the victim and victor of bitterness is a solid way to create the kind of heart that could sincerely and sacrificially pray for a child as Hannah did. Hannah was crushed under its weight and freed by God's love and attention.
I have been there. I have been bitter. And seen how it colors all you hear and see, especially in those I love. I confessed my bitterness but I did not wait upon the Lord to heal and restore what it had destroyed, namely my marriage. But, today, I am free of that bitterness. I mourn what it destroyed but I rejoice in what God's healing has revealed in my heart. Today, I stand encouraged at the degree of servanthood, sacrifice and gratitude that shines from within. God can do amazing things even when we thought we had given up and messed up. He is a redeemer and a healer. Praise the Lord!
Take a look at this scripture. Depending on whether you've experienced bitterness or not, it may be hard to come to agreement with those who have, on how to interpret this event in the life of Hannah.
This went on year after year; whenever they went to the house of the LORD, Peninnah would upset Hannah so much that she would cry and refuse to eat anything. Her husband Elkanah would ask her, "Hannah, why are you crying? Why won't you eat? Why are you always so sad? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" One time, after they had finished their meal in the house of the LORD at Shiloh, Hannah got up. She was deeply distressed, and she cried bitterly as she prayed to the LORD. Meanwhile, Eli the priest was sitting in his place by the door.
(1 Samuel 1:7-9)
I bolded two phrases in this verse. In the verses prior, it speaks to how Hannah received a double portion from Elkanah despite her barren womb. In the verses following, we see Elkanah treating Hannah with the same graciousness. But, here in the midst, I believe we see the effects of bitterness upon Hannah's soul. On one side, the way she responded may seem childish. On the other hand, the way she responded seems understandable.
Speaking towards the understandable, I can relate to Hannah's response. And, I take a leap in saying how she felt at this moment in time. For a long time, Hannah has been sad. And, such statements as the second one bolded would be so horribly cruel and selfish. Or so it would seem to the embittered soul. I've always thought this statement of Elkanah was selfish. Certainly, it is a bitter shallow but it is not cruel or meant to cause greater grief.
I applaud Hannah for her response. She prayed wholeheartedly to the Lord. And, I think she prayed knowing that she had become bitter. I believe it is her confession to her Lord that opened the door for Him to open her womb. Bitterness first crushes you, then when you find yourself it's victim knowingly, it humbles you. Being both the victim and victor of bitterness is a solid way to create the kind of heart that could sincerely and sacrificially pray for a child as Hannah did. Hannah was crushed under its weight and freed by God's love and attention.
I have been there. I have been bitter. And seen how it colors all you hear and see, especially in those I love. I confessed my bitterness but I did not wait upon the Lord to heal and restore what it had destroyed, namely my marriage. But, today, I am free of that bitterness. I mourn what it destroyed but I rejoice in what God's healing has revealed in my heart. Today, I stand encouraged at the degree of servanthood, sacrifice and gratitude that shines from within. God can do amazing things even when we thought we had given up and messed up. He is a redeemer and a healer. Praise the Lord!
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